Monday, April 17, 2006


Rolling Eggs with the Queers on the White House Lawn

Ugh. This whole easter egg roll is annoying to me. And since I've already bitched about it to N at least four or five times I figured I should just write about it and be done.

First of all, if I haven't mentioned it before, I am queer. I have a large stake in queer civil rights. There are many things I am worried about that all people my age are worried about- money, health, education, security, acceptance and family- and then there are the specific ones I worry about because I'm gay and live in a country where, for the most part, I'm seen as deviant and therefore denied particular rights. There are 49 states where we cannot legally marry our same sex partner, there are many states where we cannot even write contracts that "look" like marriage. There are many states where we cannot become foster parents, adoptive parents (including second parent adoptions. The state where I'm doing my graduate degree (and a handful of others, and almost all if I were transgendered) does not protect me from being fired due to being a dyke. Internationally LGBTQI folk are imprisoned and sometimes put to death for being gay. Transgendered folk have fewer legal protections in even fewer places...

We have a lot of work to do. . So why the hell are our big time civil rights organizations (HRC, Lamda Legal, Family Pride, etc) wasting their advocacy time and money on something they are ALREADY allowed to do. No one is stopping two dykes and a tyke going on to the White House ground to roll an egg. The rules state that there has to be a kid under 8 and no more than 2 adults. That's the most general statement of parenthood and I've seen come from the White House this ENTIRE administration. 2 adults- gramma, grampa; mom and dad; daddy and papa; aunt and stepgrandmother; whatever. We are allowed to participate in the activity. And make friends with the straight breeders. Why do we need to organize and talk to the media and say "look at us! we're the same!!!" By saying we're the same, but acting like we're different (wearing rainbow leis) we look like we're making a political statement and that's it. Not participating in a "American Tradition" but making a statement. Uh, because we are dudes. That's why we organize. It's not like we're doing this as a big family picnic or something. We're raising awareness. Which is good. But it's political. As I said to N, if it looks like a rat, and smells like a rat (uh, yeah, I got the cliche wrong...)

And we're playing right into the hands of the right (religious or not). They will say, they have said, and I almost feel like we're TAUNTING them to say something like... oh I don't know "I think it's inappropriate to use a children's event to make a political statement," said Mark D. Tooley, of the Institute on Religion and Democracy.

Duh. That's the critism that they, the Antis use when they say that we're not fit to be parents, that we should stay in the closet. Because we use our children for political reasons. It's not that I'm not agreeing with the enemy here- I think the folks at Family Pride really have good intentions. But use your time and talent and skill to organize "Meet your neighbor" days around the country. Support programs like "Postcards from Buster" (remember that?) continue to support and work with GLAAD's work with media and society to help see that we are portrayed fairly by the media. But don't go to a "Family event," organize, send buses, make sure we talk to the media, and then just say, "oh no, we're not being political, we're just hanging out and enjoying the event like all the other families." B.S. folks. And you ain't fooling anyone. And it's trashy.

For the love of pete, if you are a family, and you want to stand in the rain and wear a lei and roll and easter egg, go for it. Love it, make friends with the straight family on line waiting for your tickets. This is individual advocacy, the same advocacy we do when we come out proudly and loudly to loved ones and strangers alike. It's the same advocacy that we do when we tell people not to tell mean gay jokes or say "that's so gay" when they mean "that's stupid!" or when we tell young folks not to tease using terms like fag and dyke (those are terms only to be used lovingly by family only!). If you are a gay organization, encourage individuals and families, and groups to go out to community events, gay events, "straight events" (whatever thoses are, btw), alien events, whatever, and make friends. Recruit even (just kidding).

Dear HRC, you have called me 3 times this week asking me to renew my membership. I like you. I think you are an ok organization. Unlike some of my more radical friends I do not think I am a sellout for giving you $50 a year. But come on... The Easter Egg Roll? And Family Pride. You are important to me. I am not a parent yet. But I hope I will be someday. And I'll need your help. But grow a pair. Let's fight for stuff we need and we don't have, not stuff that we don't need but already have.
love and kisses, JT

Oh, and I wonder if they'd make such a big fuss about the National Matzah Ball Roll... Oh right... There isn't one. : ) OOps. ; )

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